American in Davao

I have been living here in the Philippines for a year now and still am learning new things about the culture and difference in thinking. I also think if I live for 100 more years I will still never learn it all.

He or She
There is also a language difference even when Filipinos speak in English. One thing that causes confusion is “He” and “She”. When a Filipino is talking about a person they will use he in the sentence and later say she. When you ask who the other person involved, they will say, no it is just the one person.

Then there are directions to somewhere. In America you will say something like, 2 miles away, the next street on name the town, city or state. Here a usual response is “over there”. Over there can be across the street or the next city.
Maybe
In the states, you usually will use maybe in a sentence if you have an educated guess. For instance, you are at work and a co-worker mentions he had trouble with his car starting that morning. The next day he does not show up for work. If anyone asks if you know where the co-worker is, you will reply “maybe his car could not start.”
Here, if you ask a question to a Filipino and they have no idea of the answer; they will say maybe and inject anything. For instance, someone mentions their TV does not work. They say nothing more than that, someone might look up and say, maybe it is the power supply.

There is non verbal talking here too. A raise of an eyebrow means yes, or I understand. Unfortunately if you’re not looking at their face, or look away for a moment, you never saw their answer.

Instead of pointing with a finger, Filipinos will point with their lips like a kissing motion.

As Bob Martin in his Web Magazine, Live in the Philippines discusses in a new series of articles about SIR (Smooth Interpersonal Relations) and Ulaw (shame, loss of face) there are frustrating times interacting with younger Filipinos.

Elena and I have 3 nieces living with us. They are all in nursing school and are ages of 22, 20 and 18. As in most western families, we are used to conversations at dinner or when sitting around the house. Here when we eat there is silence except if I ask a question. And then all that is said is to answer. There are no conversations. Once I get up and leave the room conversation usually starts up.

All the girls know English, but will not use it unless it is directed to me. Even if I am in the room and they are talking to each other, they talk in Bisaya or else they wait until I leave the room.

When you talk to them about it, they do not understand your feelings or need to know them better.

A lot of times when you’re out, a clerk, waitress, waiter or others you meet in the course of the day will speak in English to you until your companion asks something in Bisaya, then the other person changes to Bisaya and responds to questions or responses in Bisaya leaving you out of the conversation.

Now I understand there are many who have limited knowledge of English, but even the more fluent will do the same.

One of the reasons I looked for a Filipino wife and not a lady from China, Japan, Thailand, or one of the other Asian countries was that English is taught here in schools.

When you travel around town, you will see 99% of store signs in English. The government and road signs are in English and so are most of the newspapers.

I know I was guilty in America feeling that if you move to America, you should know English and I am living in a country where English is not their language, but since most have learned English in school, you usually know Filipinos who speak English with some confidence.

I also have difficulty learning languages as was proved to me in grade school where I was close to failing the second time taking Spanish.

Foods and Meals

In America we are used to different foods for each meal. Breakfast is usually light, juice, cereals, eggs and/or toast. Lunches are usually a sandwich, a salad or a smaller portion meal plate. Dinners are a protein such as meat, poltry or fish with a vegetable and a starch as rice, potato or noodles.

Here most Filipinos will eat the same things no matter which meal and will almost always include rice. Also most foods are pan fried.

Beef and pork here can be tough and we use a pressure cookerer to make them more tender.

Also you will almost always see a small plate of soy sauce sometimes with a small hot pepper mashed into the sause to add some spice. Sometimes it will be vinegar.

In the States we use a fork to eat and a knife to cut and a spoon for liquids. Here most use a fork and spoon. The fork is to move foods together and the spoon is used to cut and to eat with.

Snacks in America will be sweets, a light item as chips or just a drink. Filipinos it is usually carbohydrates. They will even take pansit whish is a rice or what thin noodle and then make a sandwich of it. So it is carbs on carbs.

What do you think? Have you any common of different experiences. Please leave a comment and let me know.