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Monday, February 4, 2008

My Filipino Family

Recently I have heard stories and read articles on other blogs about the relationships between a foreigner and a Filipina and how their extended family act or make demands on the relationship.

I am not going to write about what I have heard and read, that has been said in many places.
What I am going to write about is my family.

As I have written here that I had met Elena on an online site. The site was Cherry Blossoms. There are many other sites to meet ladies but I only used one. I met Elena about 3 ½ years ago.
Before meeting Elena I had corresponded to some other ladies but they were not what I was looking for. There were different reasons; age, background, education, attitudes and many others.

What I liked about Elena was she was educated, had good morals, was in her late 30’s when we first met and besides all that I thought then and as now she is beautiful and a figure that attracts me.

Elena is one of 7 children. Unfortunately 2 of her siblings has passed away prior to me meeting her. Her mother instilled in all her children what was instilled by her mother, which is the importance of education.

One of Elena’s sisters had 5 children. The oldest 2 are boys, Amar 26 and Peter 25. Then there are 3 girls, Merliza 22, Monaliza 20 and Riza 18. The 3 girls live with us. This is because, when Elena’s mother was alive, the grandchildren would live with her while in College if their parents lived in another city which is the case with the girls.

Amar had a full scholarship and is a graduate of a Business degree in marketing. He has been working as a Sales Representative with a distributer of Proctor & Gamble and is soon to take a better position as a Sales Representative for San Miguel Corporation. He lives here in Davao and visits us regularly.

Peter is a graduate with a degree in Marine Engineering. He works for a shipping line and travels all over the world.

Because of Peter’s job and higher salary he pays for his sisters’ tuition at the University since they are all in school for a Nursing Degree. Amar covers their allowance which includes books and supplies for school, commuting costs and cell phone loads to be in touch with us all.

Because of the closeness of these nephews and nieces to Elena and then with me, they are more like sons and daughters to us. Even though you get some attitudes from the girls at times, which all kids do as they grow up, they love and respect us both as parents.

When I decided to move here to the Philippines, Elena told her nephews about me coming here and the circumstances of me coming and that my monies will not be as large as we had hoped.
Amar, who does not make a large salary, promised an amount for us if needed and Peter told us not to worry, except for a small allowance for himself from his salary and after the girl’s tuition is covered, we can have the rest to help cover the food expenses for the girls. He also told Elena not to worry, he will always help us with any support we need and as soon as the girls graduate he will also buy us a house.

There is one other nephew with us, his name is Karem. Karem is the son of one of Elena’s sister-in-law. His father, Elena’s brother, passed away years ago. Karem recently passed his Boards and has his license as a Midwife. He is currently looking for a position in his field or as a Nurse’s Assistant. Karem younger brother Jun Jun is coming this summer to stay with us to complete his last 2 years of High School here since it is cheaper here than in the Provinces where he lives and the schools are better here.

Karem told me if he cannot get a job in the medical field, he wants to get any job to help support his brother’s expenses and his for living here. That earned a lot of respect to him from me.

So, with all the negative things said about how Filipinos think of foreigners and how Filipinas are out for foreigner’s money and not love so they can support their family, I have found the opposite. I have found a loving family that treats me as loving as I treat them. I actually get more love and respect from my Filipino family then I do from my American family.

I am truly a LUCKY MAN!!


Anonymous said...

I am happy to read your comment about my fellow filipina and your new family.You are indeed a lucky man to have met an educated ,well bred woman. unfortunately,it is true that some foreigners are just unlucky to find Filipino women with families who become parasites and bleed them dry.And thats a very sad reality in our society. More power and congratulations to you and Elena.

Bruce said...

Thank you for writting and your nice comments. It is not only the foreigners who have the problem, some are the filipinas. I have heard of young girls forced by their familys to go online to find a foreigner so she can get money to support the family. The man, the filipina are both being used and the girl loses some dignity too I would think.