My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
http://www.americanindavao.com/blog/
and update your bookmarks.

Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Monday, January 12, 2009

People are the same Anywhere you Live.

Last November I wrote an article “Living under a Microscope”. In that article I said I had not met any foreigner I did not like.

Well, as time goes on, and you get to meet more people you get to find out what people are saying under their breath, behind your back, or just when you’re not there.

Just as in your home country there are people who are your friends, people you know and people you avoid. There are people you can trust and people you cannot trust. If you are lucky in life you will make good and trusting friends.

As I live here, I am still lucky to have made some good American friends, Filipino friends and some foreigner friends. But just as in your home country you need to be careful with the friendships you make.

For many reasons, jealousy, envy, distrust, prejudice, people will betray your trust or friendships. I am an open and honest person. I know enough not to be rude, but if asked directly, I will tell someone what I think. Some friends in the past told me that was one of the things they liked about me. As the old saying “what you see is what you get.”

Unfortunately there are people everywhere, and the Philippines is no exception that will tell lies about you, about things you have not even said or twist the things you have said into another context.

Why do people do this? I am not sure. Maybe it is a power trip. Maybe it is to alienate you. Maybe it is because they like to control people and situations and you will not fall under their control. There are also people who will love to brag, but if you mention things they openly talk about, you’re at fault.

To me, if you want something kept a secret, keep it secret. Also I will tell my wife, family or friends, if you want to tell me something and it is not to be shared, tell me.

As I said in the older article, there is a smaller group of people here to make friends with but, just as everywhere else, you need to be careful with who you associate with and what you tell them about yourself. There might be someone out there wanting to slander or twist what you have said.

I am not perfect and had said something about a friend that was misunderstood. I am glad he came to me, told me what he heard and let me explain what I said and what I meant saying it. I think and hope that cleared up the problem. This person I like and respect and never wanted to upset him or think less of me.

But, sometimes what you hear is obviously mean and nasty. Even then, because of the smaller foreigner community, you need to just learn, associate but keep a cooler distance from the few you cannot trust.

Let me know what you think.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

My First Thanksgiving in the Philippines

Being American I love Thanksgiving with all the foods. I love turkey, dressing/stuffing, and especially pumpkin pie.

As you know I live in the Philippines now and to Filipinos, the 3rd Thursday in November is just the 3rd Thursday in November, just as in all other countries in the world.

Well, one of my friends Louis mentioned he wanted to do a REAL Thanksgiving. There are Butterball and Norbest frozen turkeys available in the markets here. Then a newer friend of ours, Reg mentioned he would like to be part of the festivities. So we got together to plan a Thanksgiving Day Dinner.

We talked about items and also decided to ask a dear friend Fr. Thomas Martin. Tom lives around the corner and has become a good and close friend of ours. Then we decided it invite another friend who lives close, Ted and his fiancée Arnie.

I would have liked to invite more of my friends, but I did not want so many people stuffing the house as what happened at my wedding party. You need to stop at some point and I hope those who were not invited to understand.
Louis who is an incredible cook offered to do a lot of the preparation. He made the turkey, gravy, a delicious Pennsylvania Dutch Apple Dressing with sausage and bacon. Louis also made an apple pie.

Reg made string beans in olive oil and garlic and a Hawaiian Cole slaw. Reg also bought 2 ham balls which Louis sliced and made a glaze.

Ted brought an Antipasto with rolled meats, olives and pickles and a cheese platter and some bottles of red and white wines.

My responsibility was the house, pumpkin pies, cranberry sauce and also a sweet potato casserole. One of the differences here in the Philippines is they do not have sweet potatoes like in the States. Here they have Comote. It is a sweet potato but has a gritty consistency. In the past Elena made a mixture of mashed Comote and white potatoes that came out smoother, so that is what we did and I added nutmeg, cinnamon and brown sugar to make the taste closer to what I am used to.

Because I was unable to find pie crust mix, Louis offered to make the pie crusts for the pumpkin pies. Louis made the dough and then he came over to roll the dough out for the pies. As we were working Elena’s brother from Kidapawan showed up with about 10 relatives unannounced. Elena was still out running errands. So as I was entertaining my guests, Louis mixed the pumpkin and made the pies for me too.

Finally Thursday arrived and about 2:00 I drove over to Louis’s house to pack up all his items and drove back to get all the foods ready. Around 4:00 Ted and Arnie and a few minutes later Father Tom arrived. We sat and enjoyed the wines and antipasto Ted brought and of course the good conversation. Reg came next and finally Reg's wife Liz and her sister Chel arrived.




As the men sat and talked, the ladies played cards.



Finally we set the table for a wonderful feast. I asked Father Tom to please say a blessing and I enjoyed his wonderful words of love and friendship as he thanked GOD for our meal.



Everything was wonderful and we enjoyed all the tastes we are used to from home. All the foods were delicious and I watched the plates fill up as items were passed around the table. Being a Lover of fresh roasted turkey, I was in heaven. As at most Thanksgiving meals, the plates and later found our stomachs are not big enough for all we want to eat. Living here, we eat less here than in the States, so instead of having 2 to 3 plates of the delicious foods, one plate was enough.



I was also surprised, after we were finished and my nieces came out to have their dinner, I noticed they enjoyed most of the foods and ate a good dinner without any rice, vinegar or soy sauce on the table. It is nice to see they have opened their minds and palate to enjoy non-Filipino foods.
After dinner the men moved to the Living room to relax and then the ladies served us some of the pumpkin pies and apple pie to complete a wonderful meal and a day of friendship and holiday cheer.

From all the comments after dinner, I know everyone enjoyed the day and look forward to next year knowing the foods we can get and now one of our cultures customs can be continued.

I will remember this day, my first Thanksgiving in my new country with happy and fond memories, so now I have another item to be thankful for, good friends and good foods.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Being a Ninong

Shortly after I arrived in Davao Elena told me a good friend of hers asked us to be Ninong and Ninang. Her friend Vergie's son Kenneth was marrying his beautiful fiancee Sheila.

If you’re not Filipino you will be saying, as I did, what the heck are a Ninong and Ninang. That is sponsors of the Groom or Bride. Ninongs and ninangs are expected to serve as the couple's second parents or counselors especially when the newlyweds' parents are no longer there to guide them.

We are the primary Ninongs and walked down the aisle after the groom and his parents. When the vows were being said, all the Ninongs and Ninangs were positioned around the back of the Bride and Groom.

Because of this honor, I bought a Barong Tagalog. That is a formal Filipino shirt that is a thin material, with long sleeves and embroidered on the front. It is also long and worn outside the slacks. Since it is of a thin material you have to wear a type of T shirt with a few buttons. Almost like the old Wallace Berry shirt.


The wedding was at St. Ana Church in downtown Davao. We were told to be there at 7:30 AM. As an American and not sure of the traffic we arrived about 7:20. At that time only the photographer and we were there. By 7:30 vans and jeepneys arrived with all the wedding party except the bride.

It was so hot in the Church, thankfully there were fans mounted around the church circulating the air.

When the proceedings started, first the Best Man walked down the aisle, then the Groom with his parents. Then Elena and I led the Ninongs.


The wedding was long as usual, but beautiful. Since it has been many years since I was at a Wedding at a Catholic Church, I do not know the differences.

From the Church we went to the reception at the Grand Min Sing Hotel.
At the reception all the Ninongs sat at the Dias or front table. The Bride and Groom sat at a raised area alone.

Once everyone was seated the speeches started. Boy could they talk. There was a lot of laughter during the speeches but since I do not understand Bisaya, I just sat there.

An interesting part was the guests had a buffet, but all of the Nanongs and the parents of the Bride and Groom were served. The foods were plentiful and delicious. There was soup, salad, beef, 3 types of pork including lechon and chicken. Then desserts were served.

There was no cutting of the cake, but each couple at the dais was presented with a small gift cake.

In the opening of the reception, they released 2 Doves which flew up to the ledges of the lighted coffered ceiling and soon after there was a green liquid on the floor. I hope all the guests sitting under the ledge were spared.

There was a money dance where anyone who wants can pin money on the Brides veil or the Grooms jacket and then can dance with Bride or Groom.

They also do something opening the largest and smallest gift. The largest was a TV and the smallest was 2 little cans of breath freshener (possibly needed on the wedding night)

The tossing of the bouquet and garter is done different here. Individual flowers are tossed by the Bride over her head and as each girl catches them they return to their seat. The last girl is the winner.

Then the garter is tossed over and over until the last boy is left.
Then the boy puts the garter on the girl. They are seated next to each other with the Bride and Groom standing behind them. Then the Groom kisses his bride in 3 places, and where ever he kisses the boy has to kiss the girl.

Over all, it was a beautiful wedding and an experience I will always remember.

My Prayers and Best wishes for the Bride and Groom.